For most of my adult life, I have been dubbed an extrovert. Most folks find it difficult to believe that I too, like many others, crave alone time. I freely admit that I used to love being with people, being out and about and “living it up” (while still being home by 11pm after several public displays of widening my mouth to ingest more air). Maybe it is having kids, maybe it is because I have started finding loud noises irritating or maybe it is because people have become more irritating (who am I to say?). The reality is that I ADORE the S.O.S (sound of silence).
So I should stop inviting people over. Right, got it. But I made the choice long ago to not join the nunnery despite the appeal of never wearing tight fitting clothes, and this is my cross to bear.
Now, silence may frighten some people. To be clear, I am not talking about the “oh sh*t what are my kids into now” silence nor am I am talking about the “what did I do now” silence when my eyes meet my wife’s glare; no, this mystical S.O.S. is the one where all is calm, all are self absorbed and I am free to move about the cabin as I would like (metaphorically). I can be in my own thoughts, at my own speed and doing whatever I want to do. For the record, most times those “things” are often tasks on my lists FOR OTHER PEOPLE, but I am not bitter.
I also adore music but lately I have found myself not engaging with Alexa (whose charm was lost on me long ago when she categorized “Let It Go” is a Christmas tune when it is so clearly not) in favor of the silence. I am a fervent believer and now sporadic (thanks kids) practitioner of meditation*, but all it takes is a few moments of silence and one deep breath to ignite my craving for more. Call me a silence addict or junkie, I can take it. But if you REALLY cared for me, wouldn’t you send me to a silent retreat to help me?
When booking my reservation, please select the vegan and yoga options, else my silence may be selective. TIA
*I often type first, then read after. Meditation is what I wanted to write. Medication was what I wrote before the re-read. I plead the fifth on that word’s applicability and the Universe’s intention there